By David Lapin
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
Leo Tolstoy
1828 – 1910
When leaders make a choice to change themselves, it will inevitably transform their team, too.
Traditionally, we manage people by promising them rewards for reaching their goals and penalties for failing to. If this doesn’t work, we often replace the individual or change the team. Many times though, after the change the team is as dysfunctional as it was before. This is because the only thing that hasn’t changed is the only thing that needed to change: the leader!
A client of mine told me about a military unit in which he once served. He was embarrassed by its reputation for ineffectiveness and poor discipline. Nothing the lieutenant did made any difference to the unit’s performance, and the unit was ridiculed and shunned. Then a new lieutenant was appointed. With no other apparent changes, the unit transformed and became one of the finest. Changing a leader changes a team, but “changing a leader” does not necessarily entail replacing him or her. Changing a leader could simply mean that a leader makes a choice to change him or herself. This will inevitably transform their team, too.
If you are experiencing difficulties with the team you lead, see what happens when you begin to handle yourself more effectively, controlling your emotions and treating others with more respect. Show your team members a new trust. You know intuitively that the team will change. They will respond by trying to prove themselves worthy of your trust. We are wired not to disappoint the people who have faith in us. When you show your faith in your people, they will almost always rise to the occasion. The response you get from others naturally mirrors the energy you exude.
Chief Ethan Brenner (the names in this story were changed to protect privacy) had just been appointed chief of police in a large city in the U.S. Northwest. He had competed for the job with a colleague named Scott. After losing the position, Scott became impossible to work with. Chief Brenner made Scott head of traffic, but he was often tardy and failed to deliver results. Every attempt the chief made to discipline him and manage his performance was met with greater mistrust from Scott, who took every opportunity to undermine Brenner and sabotage his efforts. That’s when Brenner turned to me.
At the time I met Chief Brenner, I’d been working with law enforcement leadership in the U.S. for over a decade in an effort to increase their interpersonal effectiveness, both internally and externally, and to reduce their dependence on the use of force. By then, more than one hundred thousand police officers in California alone had been influenced by Lead by Greatness methods.
In Brenner’s situation, the solution was clear. Scott was disgruntled and clearly in no state of mind to support the efforts of his new boss and former peer. He needed to change — but it was not only his actions that needed improvement, it was also his state of mind. So I urged Brenner to change his tactics. Soon afterward, the president was due in town. The chief knew he could not afford any mistakes, but it was then that he made his bold move.
Brenner called Scott and said, “I’m under tremendous pressure, and I’d really appreciate it if you took complete command of the president’s visit and the smooth operation of his motorcade. I have faith in your ability, and while I am only a call away if you need me, I trust you to handle this on your own.”
Brenner stepped back, and Scott rose to the occasion. The presidential visit went smoothly, and Scott became the chief’s biggest supporter, never needing to be disciplined again. The chief had tried to change Scott for years and had accomplished nothing but failure and heartache. How did the chief finally change Scott? After trying to change him in every way possible within the conventional parameters of human resource management, he ultimately succeeded only when he changed himself. By trusting himself to trust Scott and removing any manifestation of defensiveness and anger toward Scott, he began to Lead by Greatness. Scott responded with a greatness from within himself that had never before been evident to Chief Brenner.
Your own greatness is your best, if not your only, tool with which to change the way other people live and act. Your power to change people with your own greatness extends far beyond your family, team, and even organization. Each of us has the power and the ability to change the world and leave it a little different, a little better than it would have been without us. This principle is foundational to the Kabbalistic view of the purpose of humankind. “He [the Creator] did not create the world to be a wasteland; rather He formed it so that humankind would develop and impact it.” This is true not only of the world as a whole, but also of each individual’s life, as it is lived every day. We can, and we do, leave every person or group of people we touch a little different every day.
By honing your leadership character and building your human greatness, you will generate higher, more focused energy and impact the people around and beyond you in ways you could never before have imagined.
Remembering you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
Steve Jobs
1955 – 2011
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
DAVID LAPIN, rabbi and corporate advisor, is CEO of Lapin International, a leadership consulting company that helps organizations develop inspirational leaders and self-driven teams that outperform the competition. For more information, please visit www.lapininternational.com.
Excerpted with permission of the publisher Avoda Books from Lead By Greatness: How Character Can Power Your Success