The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.
Victor E. Frankl
1905 – 1997
Henry Ford was famous for saying that his customers could buy his cars in any color they wanted, so long as they wanted black. That lack of choice would mean certain death for most products today.
We’ve grown accustomed to customization, to having products and services that match our specifications. We want our Big Mac or Quarter Pounder with the trimmings we choose, washed down with not just a Coke, but a Cherry Diet Coke, a Vanilla Coke Zero, or one of the other variations in taste, caffeine and calories. We want to select the upholstery material for our sofa and chairs, then go to Lowe’s or Home Depot and get the exact shade of paint to match. We even want to pick the color of our phones.
We no longer want to schedule our free time around a TV program; we want to see our favorite shows whenever we like. We’re used to DVRs and on demand options like Hulu and Netflix streaming. And we cling to our cell phones and iPads so we can make a call or send an email at any time, no matter where we might be — even in bed for the night.
In short, we’ve become very accustomed to having things precisely the way we want.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting a specific color on your walls or having your meal prepared according to your taste. But unfortunately, this attitude has crept into far too many things in our lives.
It’s okay to expect the little things in life to be the way we want them. But when we expect everything else to happen exactly when and how we want, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment. There are many things in life that can be customized; there are countless things that can happen on our schedules. But the bigger things in life cannot and will not adapt to our whims.
We need to be aware of our tendency to expect the world to work the way we want. We shouldn’t expect our friends to always agree with our point of view or cater to our desires and wishes. We shouldn’t expect our supervisors to always see the world the way we do. And we can’t expect our leaders to always act the way we want.
I certainly don’t mean that we should support or accept harmful behavior from family, friends, employers or government leaders. But we need to be open to the possibility that our desires may not yield the best result. To borrow a phrase from Star Trek, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.
More and more, I see people acting without regard for the welfare of others. Remember, the world is full of individuals, each with their own needs and wants. Expecting to always have things our way can only lead to frustration and disappointment.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Reinhold Niebuhr
1892 – 1971
Copyright © 2021 John Chancellor
Great post, so true. It’s quite scary as to how our minds and the way we act can be influenced by something like having an abundance of choices when we consume. With an excess of choices and always being able to buy whatever we want, we may end up becoming more entitled and selfish. And worst of all is that we may not even realise that we end applying this mindset in other areas, outside consumption, like relationships etc.
With everything becoming faster and quicker to obtain – like fast food, fast information, fast entertainment – we’re also becoming more impatient I think.
The world really is a reflection of our souls. Thank you for pointing this out, John. Even in the midst of war we can still go deep within and find peace.
diana bletter
Hi, John. Guess who? And guess what, I agree with you on this topic of how we are becoming more demanding and selfish. It just seems to be the way of the world right now. The Serenity Prayer has saved my sanity more times than I can count… Nice post.