Who defines your life?

The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves that we are underlings.
William Shakespeare
1564 – 1616

Who defines your life?

Before you answer that question, take a minute to consider that whoever decides on the rules, the playing field and the equipment generally wins the game. And though we’re talking about life, not a game, the same holds true. If you’re trying to live your life by someone else’s rules, who do you think has the better chance of winning?

Now, you may be thinking that you set the rules for your life. Maybe so. But there’s a very good chance that in some areas of your life, you’re trying to live up to someone else’s standards.

Consider the car you drive. Did you choose that car because of its utility of purpose, or, like so many of us, because of what it says about you? Look at the clothes you wear. Are they selected for functionality, or for style and fashion? And who decides the current style and fashion?

Think about your occupation. Are you truly working where you want? We know that the vast majority of people aren’t happy with their jobs. So why do they keep working where they aren’t happy?

Stress is the major contributing factor in most illnesses. But often, we create our own stress. How? By trying to live up to arbitrary standards set by someone else.

Now, consider the question again: who defines your life? If you’re honest, you’ll see that a large part of your energy and efforts are spent trying to measure up to standards determined by others. When you allow other people to define how you live your life, you’ll almost certainly experience conflict and stress.

Since we first left the comfort of our immediate family, we were advised to fit in, to not make waves. We were taught to find our place in society. This conditioning led us to accept that our place in society was predetermined, that some higher power decided how much we should earn, where we should live, who our friends should be and how much we should expect to accomplish.

That sort of thinking is self-limiting; it lets others define our lives. We need to expand our parameters. We need to remove the boundaries others have set.

In the final analysis, you alone are responsible for what you accomplish in life. Make sure you don’t allow others to define your boundaries or set the rules. If you allow others to limit you, you’ll never reach your full potential.

Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t; you’re probably right.
Henry Ford
1863 – 1947

Copyright © 2024 John Chancellor