Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
Viktor Frankl
1905 – 1997
Today in America, we celebrate Independence Day, which commemorates our independence from Britain. I believe it’s important for nations to recognize such days, but I often wonder why we don’t pay more attention to our individual independence.
Epictetus gave us some very sound advice about achieving freedom.
We are ultimately controlled by that which bestows or removes what we seek or avoid. If it is freedom you seek, then wish nothing and shun nothing that depends on others, or you will always be a helpless slave.
Understand what freedom really is and how it is achieved. Freedom isn’t the right or ability to do what you please. Freedom comes from understanding the limits of our own power and natural limits set by divine providence. By accepting life’s limits and inevitabilities and working with them rather than against them, we become free.
There’s one other area where most of us should devote some attention: long held and deeply rooted beliefs which are untrue or are no longer useful. Most often, these manifest as automatic thoughts (ones that occur without conscious consideration) that are negative or self-limiting. We accept them as truth due to conditioning by parents, authority figures, or peers, but close examination reveals little or no factual support for these ideas.
If a situation is causing you emotional pain, you need to examine your beliefs about the situation. Frequently, it’s not actual events that cause us pain; it’s the story we tell ourselves about what happened, the meaning we attribute to the event. This negative self-talk might consist of phrases like, “I’m not good enough”, “nobody likes me”, or “I can’t trust men/women”.
Unfortunately, as children we often develop a view of the world which is simply not true and it undermines our sense of self-worth. Unless we proactively examine our belief system, we allow our lives to be guided by misperceptions. Automatic thinking robs us of our ability to control our choices and our lives; when we allow it to continue unchecked, we surrender our freedom.
So as we celebrate Independence Day, take a few moments for self-examination. Consider the ways you give up your independence to beliefs which aren’t real.
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Viktor Frankl
Copyright © 2022 John Chancellor